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CHEESEMAKERS OVER LONDON

GREENY SPEAKS 2

CHEESEMAKERS AT LARGE - LONDON SPECIAL HERE IS THE STORY , IN WORDS & PICTURES , OF THE CHEESEMAKERS DEBUT GIG IN LONDON ON JUNE 23rd 2002 AT WEST ONE FOUR , WEST KENSINGTON The gig was an indoor festival type of thing with 8 bands playing . The promoters were Five Miles High , a promotions / management company who provide a magnificent rock 'n' roll resource at their website ( see lynx page ) . They manage B-Movie Heroes & Plan A , both of whom played at the gig The gig was called Damofest , in honour of an Aussie dude called Damo who is strongly linked with all things rock and FMH and whom was also present at the gig . The Cheesemakers were asked to play due to FMH strong link with Changes One , our label , and so we were wedged in at the bottom of the bill - happy to be so , I must add There are many more photos available of the trip , far too many to put on this page , they will soon be uploaded into the photo section of The Cheesemakers Yahoo Group pages So on to The Cheesies 2 day tour in words & pictures .
I must say this must be one of the best pictures I've ever taken . Jim silhouetted whilst perusing a publication Although Jim looks serene , the photo must come with the advisory that Jim was in fact leafing through Viz !! The journey down from the North East was a good one , and not un-eventful . One particular event was truly memorable and I will recount it for you later Present on the trip were all four band members : Me , Jim , Hesh & Geoff and Mr.Dunf Dunford , the bands 'roadie' . Geoff handled all driving duties over the two days will style and panache and got the vehicle back to the miserable hire company in pristine condition , although he 'hit a lot of flies' !!!
Another great picture , if I may say so , with Geoff's reflection deliberately caught in the mirror So , to the event that occured on the journey down It was one of those things you normally just hear about . Someone tells you this kind of story but it never actually happens to you , familiar with that ? Well this time , it happened to US !! There we are , travelling down the A1 , around Sheffield . There's a sports car in front and in the inside lane . Suddenly we notice some kind of activity in the car , the sunroof opens and out comes an attractive blond lady . Hmm , nice you say So we're all wondering what's goin on but we haven't time to discuss it before the top is whipped off , the bra goes next and there , not 10 yards away , travelling at 70 miles an hour is a semi naked blond lady with her perfectly formed breasts in full freshness there for all to see !!! Our reaction ? What else could we do but cheer very loudly . A few seconds later and the car had taken a turn off ( perhaps they even pulled off ) and we spent the next 10 minutes looking at each other wondering if it had really happened . Whatever happened from now on , we mused , it'll have been a good trip !!!
	JIM @ SOUNDCHECK Picture - James Tomlinson Which we just made , thanks to GIT Van Hire not letting us have the vehicle until 9am on the morning , meaning after our much needed McDonalds breakfast it was 10am by the time we hit the road , so getting there for a quick 10 minute soundcheck was good going and ample time for us . Doors opened at 3pm and the floodgates of beer began at roughly the same time .
AND THEY'RE OFF Picture - James Tomlinson After a good hour drinking and meets mates and new aquaintances it was showtime and we ploughed into our set , which was made up of our short sharp punk numbers . The rock opera material had no place in a half hour set , and thankfully there was a great attendance as early as 4pm , which had been my only real concern about the whole event . Thanks for turning up to see us at that strange hour .
	HESH PLAYING A BLINDER ON THE ELECTRIC LEAD GUITAR Photograph - James Tomlinson The sound on-stage was almost perfect . The band could all hear each other , which always helps , and we were thoroughly enjoying ourselves . The crowd were as well ! Including.....
BOB BIZARRE !!! The question was raised in the song , 'Where are you now Bob Bizarre ?' and here's the answer . This is he dancing to his own song , albeit in slightly more sedate clothing Remember this is at 4.10pm with a throng of strangers looking on , to quote the ong , 'Bob never cared , if they stared ' As Hesh pointed out , Bizarre was a star throughout our trip to London All hail the magic of Bob Bizarre !
	GEOFF ON ELECTRIC BASS GUITAR Photo : James Tomlinson Both Geoffs driving and bass playing were smashing ( as Ray Wilkins would say ) and he is a true team player . And the 'tache has gone , the 'tache is dead !!! SETLIST LEICESTER BOB BIZARRE THE BIG HAIRY WHEEL HIGHER THAN YOU HERO HATE THE MILKMAN SHEILA'S ON THE BUS FLY BUSTER
'...AND THIS IS ME' The phrase that would have Mike Yarwood haters galloping for the exits , thankfully no-one galloped for the exits when I opened my mouth to sing . For my part I felt I done good , no bum notes to speak of and some decent guitar flourishes and most importantly , no shit between-song patter which I'm occasionally prone to . Not enough beer or time at this gig , so the crowd were spared my Townsend-esque mumbo jumbo ( although of course not in the same league as our illustrious Pete )
	APRES GIG We alight downstairs to the Westway to indulge in such fripperies as oxygen , more beer , cigarillos and passing young ladies Here is Jim and Hesh partaking in a little horseplay to attract the opposite sex - notice she is laughing ! The Westway is where The Clash were born . All kneel .
GEOFF WITH MR & MRS BIZARRE On the Westway , roughly about 5pm . The beer was by now really sloshing and the band and entourage were well and truly settling into the post show reverie Greeny , The Cheesemakers' guru , was present at the gig but remained un-photographed - watch out for the next installment of his column very soon
	BACKSTAGE All of the bands on the bill are jolly nice chaps and the backstage area was a small area crammed full of bands gear and belongings which created a great air of trust and humility , one which is rare in the world of gigs and tours - so I salute the other 7 bands present : JOHNNY ZHIVAGO PSYCHO A GO-GO THE CHERRYKICKS B-MOVIE HEROES INHALE PLAN A STICKY SWEET Check these bands out if you get the chance
AMAZING JOURNEY We knew we had to get to Bizarre Mansions in Essex so we hit the road about 9pm . Sanity & and anyone familiar with road use in London would suggest using the ring road , but Bizarre - not being one of these people - decided a trip through central London was in order , so off we went up hammersmith and into the lions den , with Geoff at the wheel . Geoff who hadn't even been to London before let alone drive through it on a weekend evening !!! Needless to say the journey was amazing and very eventful including many sights and sounds of England's capital city People were shouted at , tramps were urinated on and we even saw Gandhi somewhere up near Westminster Ever heard the story of Ozzy Osbourne slashing on the Alamo ? Well in years to come , the legend of Jim and Bob Bizarre slashing on the houses of parliament will come to the fore And so it came to pass that we arrived in Barking with just enough time for a few swift ones at Bob's local shit-hole before an absolutely superb Chinese curry for two English pounds , then more beer !!!...
	4 am And the lightweights are in bed - TOGETHER ! Jim and Dunf share a bed and god knows what else whilst me and Hesh brave MTV for another hour
EARLY MORNING COLD TAXI Not that early actually , we arose from 8am onwards about every 15 minutes until we were all up and about , enjoying the morning sunshine in the Bizarre Gardens ( some kind of burning there ) After coffee , laughs , video games and more laughs we headed off back up from whence we came having conquered , got pissed and watched videos Hesh read an entire book whilst sitting at the table on the morning after . Outstanding A fairly un-eventful return journey followed apart from an amusing bait stop off in Cambridge Thank to all who helped make this trip a success and here's to the next one UP YOURS ME DEARS !!!